charlotte family photographer
It’s like washing dishes. If you focus on getting the dishes done so that your ktichen will be clean, you miss everything that happens between dirty and clean. The warmth of the water, the pop of the bubbles, the movements of your hand. You miss the life that happens in the middle zone-between now and what you think your life should be like. And when you miss those moments because you’d rather be doing something else, you are missing your own life. Those moments are gone. You will never get them back. [Geneen Roth]
It’s so easy to wish my life away. charlotte family photographer
Wishing I were more successful like so-and-so-photographer, that I were thinner or stayed in better shape, had better fashion sense, took more creative photographs, made more money, and the list could go on and on. Really though, when I wish my life were different I’m missing what is great about now. The in-between moments that make my life mine. That make my life amazing. charlotte family photographer
I definitely have my days when I wonder what I’m doing and what it would be like if I had someone else’s seemingly easier or more glamorous life. I see through my skewed perspective that they have a million clients, travel all the time, sell some amazing product that seems to be flying off the shelf, they aren’t a taxi driver to kids who leave their banana in the pocket of the driver’s seat that you only discover once it starts to stink, they don’t get up at the crack of dawn everyday, they can stay up or stay out as late as they want, they have a crazy amazing blog following with a million and one readers, or they have a peaceful, relaxed, no responsibilities breakfast at the local coffee shop every Saturday morning.
And then I think of what I would have to give up to have that life that sounds so appealing:
People who get super jazzed about my party ideas…they might only be 10 years old but when I mention a party idea they want to get started 10 minutes ago.
I get to be taxi to kids who leave squished PB&J in the car and which also means I get non-stop entertainment while I drive that I don’t even have to pay for. If you haven’t gotten to drive around a bunch of 10 year old girls it’s not to late to get your chance.
I get to get up at the crack of dawn and see my sleepy kids first thing in the morning.
Going anywhere is not peaceful. It IS all-kinds-of-energy-never-know-what-to-expect fun. And most of the time, I really love that.
If my life were peaceful I wouldn’t get to do things like… charlotte family photographer
…watch a super courageous 10 year old cliff jump in a torrential rain storm, experience full on vomit in my van in the middle of the winter and then drive home 40 minutes with the windows down, have a child come squeeze into bed with me at the exact same time in the middle of the night every night, get a you’re-the-best-mom-on-your-birthday Dollar Tree certificate from my 6 year old (after trying to make the decision for an hour in the store with my husband), go on a hunt for the best 25 cent toys in the gumball machine things just for fun, sit around the dinner table with loudness, happy chatter, and absolute silliness, make an enormous fort and leave it up for a month, stay up for half the night while my son finished a project, make dinner with my girls, read a book out loud every night to kids who think I’m the most entertaining reader that ever was, play kickball in the cul de sac….
My life sounds a little crazy and some of these things probably don’t even sound fun to a large percentage of the population. In some crazy twist of life I smile at every memory, every story that’s put me right here in this place…the smelly vomit story, the happy birthday story…it makes me happy to know I’ve been through these things with people I love. And we laugh when we remember. And we think we’re the coolest family ever when we tell our kooky, crazy stories to each other.
Comparing my life to someone else’s makes me miss my own. It makes me skim over the amazingness of my own everyday that makes up my life. And when I see it that way…comparing seems crazy, like I’ve missed the whole point.
These stories are what make my life so mine.
The truth is… my everyday isn’t perfect…not even close. Perfect isn’t what I’m going for.
Every moment isn’t bliss. It IS mine though.
And really. charlotte family photographer
What would I be willing to give up to have someone else’s life?
Not a thing.
(don’t miss the free printable poster at the end of this post)
PS I would love for you to have my e-book. You can get your free copy by CLICKING HERE.
download this printable poster here
Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer. She goes on waterfall treasure hunts every summer and tries not to have a heart attack at the top of a cliff.
She blogs at davinafear.com and loves living in the tiny town of Clover (the town with LOVE in the middle).
11 Comments
Love the happiness captured in these images! Really nice shot of your daughter behind the waterfall! Glad you’re not wishing your life away.
Thanks so much for sharing that wonderful day with me. It was a beautiful location and the pictures were wonderful. The kids are growing up so much. Thanks Davina for all you do for my son and for those five special grandkids of mine. I love you.
Mom
oh wise one, I need you in my life just to remind me of what matters. Beautiful post.
Sofia, thank you so much. Sometimes when I hit send I hope it goes out into the world and helps someone and I’m so glad that this time is was you!
I loved this post so much!!! It made me think on my life, and how I would never ever change anything in it! Everyday has made me who I am, and I could never change that!!! Thanks for making this post, because it reminded me of that!!! And btw I just love your blog!!! It is way cute, and I love reading about all your awesome adventures!!! 🙂
Katie,
Thank you so much for this note. It’s so true that once we look at our life we realize we’ve got a lot of good stuff in it…stuff we don’t want to trade for something else. I’m so happy to hear that this post reminded you of that. woohoo!! 🙂 And thank you for your kind comments and following our adventures. Happy Adventuring to you!! xoxo, Davina
I just about cried when I saw you in my inbox, I was just thinking the other day how I hadn’t recieved any mail from you in a long time then there you were this morning…right when I needed it. 🙂 And I did cry when I read this post, you hit the nail on the head with living in the middle moments. That’s exactly what I haven’t been doing. Too caught up with deadlines and requests and editing. Living to work instead of working at living. Thank you for your posts, thank you for reminding me what is really important, you are a God send.
Michelle! It’s so easy to get caught up in the end, the results. Believe me. I’ve done it and I still do it. I have to stop and be reminded that what I’m doing right now is what’s amazing. Not what comes tomorrow or the next day. I’m so glad I’m back in your inbox…you’ve made my day by being so happy about that. 🙂 Here’s to living in the middle today! 🙂 (for both of us.)
YOU ARE RIGHT DAVINA. WHAT A WONDERFUL LIFE!!!
WOW, I really needed to read this today!!! Our summer has been absolutely CRAZY…… I want to slow down and truly enjoy all “the real life moments”, the ones that really do matter to me!!! I was just talking about you recently when someone asked me who my photographer was for our daughters weddings, so very thankful it was you and that you caught all of those special moments for me!! Love you friend and always love your words of wisdom!!! Thanks for sharing! Your family is beautiful………
Becky, thank you so much for this wonderful note! It was such a great gift to photograph all of your girls’ weddings! Each one of them was so unique and beautiful. I love you, dear lady! Your family always has a special place in my heart!