Tip #2.
by Davina Fear
Back in 1994 when Mike and I were first married we were always looking for ways to tell each other how super duper awesome each other was. We were expert at looking for the good in each other.
As the years have gone by life has gotten a little crazier. We don’t love each other any less than we did back then…in fact, because of all we’ve been through together, seeing each other at our best and worst, has given us new and expanded definitions of love daily.
Why being a newlywed was so awesome
Harriet Lerner, an author and pshychologist, said “Newlyweds automatically know how to speak to the positive and make each other feel special and valued. But the more enduring the marriage, the more you’ll find yourself noticing and speaking to what you don’t like. No one can survive in a marriage, at least not happily, if they feel more judged than admired.”
How can you be a newlywed?
Those early years of seeing all of the awesome stuff built something great but for marriage to continue to survive and thrive Love Truths need to be spoken everyday.
In Better Together I talk about how, as couples, we originally came together because we inspired awe in one another. One of the ways we continue to be awe-inspired is by speaking Love Truths.
What are Love Truths?
Love Truths are words or notes that point out the things that inspire awe in us about our partners. Saying them out loud or writing them where our partners can find them remind us and them of the awe that brought us together in the first place.
Practice Love Truths
Today, take the Post-it Note Game Challenge:
With one post-it note pad for each of you, write significant and sincere love notes to each other all day long. Hide them around the house for the other person to find. See who uses up their post-it notepad first. The winner gets to choose the next game to play.
Love this fun tip?
Join us for Better Together!
What is Better Together?
Better Together is an opportunity for couples (or individual spouses within couples) to reconnect amidst diaper duty and managing teen angst. It’s an online marriage experience including weekly lessons, a pdf guide, challenges, dates that go beyond dinner, questions, and an interactive Adventure Facebook group. (scroll down for more details)
If you have ever:
Looked across the table and been so grateful for the person you’re married to but at the same time got the feeling that you are each living on separate alien planets, orbiting each other but never actually meeting (this sounds a little like it could be made into a movie)
Wondered where the passion has gone…you know you still love each other…there’s just the part where you feel like walking zombies
Wished that you had more time to talk and communicate about more than who is picking up the kids and how much baby formula to buy
Hoped that there would be something left of the two of you once all the chores, diapers, nose wiping, repeat book reading, running after the child who always gets away, spilled and wiped up juice were done for the day
Promised yourself that today you would act more in love
Wished that you paid as much attention to your marriage as you do your kids
Then Better Together is for you!
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You are reading Better Together Tip #1: Don’t fight over the butter from davinafear.com. If you liked this post, you may also like 10 Awesome Ways to Compliment Your Spouse.
Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer. She wrote to Gwyneth Paltrow and will never turn down a chocolate cupcake.
She blogs at davinafear.com. Have you signed up for Better Together: A Marriage Adventure? Get your seat here!
By day, I photograph families. By night, I build forts the size of elephants with my family. I live in a yellow house. I believe real life is the best getaway ever.
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Love Truth: You inspire me to be a better man.