expectations.
So…the first two weeks of this project I was all about making it a priority. The projects were hands on and I could see a visual representation of what I was accomplishing…what we were doing.
The last two weeks have not had that kind of instant gratification…seeing post it notes all over the house and getting flirty text messages.
Also, my expectations are too high. I need to lower them. I know, that sounds like I’m not aiming for the moon. And, in every self-help/business book known to the planet, that goes against the grain. Aim for the grass? No one says that. Aim for the moon? Yes. Grass? No.
In this case, I think the grass is good. The grass is better than the moon when there would be nothing if you hadn’t hit the grass.
Have I lost you yet? Now I’m speaking another language. I think I’ve confused myself…
Two things I learned this week:
Numero Uno. Instant gratification helps me accompish tasks/ideas/connecting. I like to have a reminder or a way to see that I’ve done something I believe in. This means that even with the spiritual ideas and spending 15 minutes with my one true love…I need a little reminder. I also need to be able to chalk it up somewhere that I did it. All of that makes it fun. I like fun. I need fun.
Numero dos. Mike and I did spend 15 minutes together almost every day this week. In my mind though, it didn’t register as DONE. I didn’t think we had actually spent the time together in the way that my mind told me it had to be done at the beginning of the week. In the past, we’ve done our 15 minutes with a timer and a set time in the evening. This week we didn’t do that. To me, it meant we didn’t do the adventure. In reality, I went to Mike a few times this week and said, “I need to chat.” Or he came to me and said, “Do you have a couple of minutes?”
In those times we took the time to sit down, face to face, and talk. We saw each other. We were there for each other. It wasn’t the expectation I had of our adventure but the result was the same. The purpose was for us to connect. To see each other. To talk about more than: what’s on your calendar today? Or what do I need to pick up at the grocery store.
These adventures aren’t about doing them exactly as I plan, they aren’t about my expectations. They are about becoming more aware, intentional familyness (happiness + family = familyness).
And this week I’m really happy with my marriage and my sweet husband. He made time for me and I made time for him. He heard me. I saw him. I heard him. He saw me. For at least 15 minutes everyday this week.
That’s familyness.
Tell me in the comments, how did your week go? Was it unexpected like mine? How so?
Comment
ohhhh expectations are hard…
on another tangent i can do yoga at home and enjoy it, but i don’t feel like i have “done” yoga unless i go to a class…
only you will know what works for you, it is all time and patience and trial and error..
checklists are sometimes helpful… even something fun like heart shaped postit notes, stick one on a certain wall every time you have your 15mins time with hubby. as time goes on you will see that the wall of hearts is growing and growing. sometimes they will fall down, and take that as an extra special reminder of your love for him. put it back up, or write a note on it and leave it somewhere for him xx