The Power of Books
This week’s question maybe something that you’ve always longed to incorporate into your familyness but just haven’t been sure how to or you may be a pro and have ideas for the rest of us…
Either way, I have an answer below and I hope everyone will chime in with your own ideas and thoughts in the comments!
Question:
I’m really interested in your reading aloud ritual. How did you start? How do you involve different ages of kids or find something that they are collectively interested in? Do you read, even on school nights? Do you discuss issues from the book? How young can you start reading books that are chapter oriented? I really really want to have this tradition! Reading aloud is a lost art and I think it is sooo cool that you do this! -Brooke
Thank you for this great series of questions for our first Q&A, Brooke!
The Studies
There is great value in reading aloud to your kids. Many studies have shown that reading aloud to your child improves their vocabulary and literacy skills and has been linked to children achieving more and staying in school longer.
Research smesearch
However, those are not my reasons for reading to my kids! I love to read to them because it creates a magic feeling in our house almost anytime we read aloud. There’s a bonding that happens over reading a book together that stays with you forever (and doesn’t cost a dime).
When did I first start reading to my kids?
Back when Emmett was a baby (I’m talking within a month of him being born) Mike and I began reading to him every night. By the time he was 4 years old we were already reading C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia and he loved them. He was a very early reader and we were such proud parents!
Other kids mess up the reading routine
Flash forward 4 years. Miriam and Emma were 4 years old and the most we would ever read to them was a picture book. Once they were in bed, Mike would got to Emmett’s room and read him a chapter book.
When one child won’t sit still
We tried to read chapter books to Miriam and Emma but it felt like a lost cause. Reading to the two of them was like trying to tame a tornado. Emma rarely held still. She would distract Miriam and it just seemed like Emma wasn’t even listening anyway. With her attention span so short we just figured a picture book was about the right length.
What changed everything
We moved from Utah (hang in there with me…this is relevant! lol) when Grace was 4 years old and Miriam and Emma were 7 years old. We still weren’t reading chapter books to any of the girls.
While we waited for our house to be finished here in SC we stayed in an apartment. Everything we owned was in storage so there was very little to do but go on walks, go to the pool, or go to the bookstore. On one of those walking trips, we picked up Hugo Cabret, and brought it home.
I didn’t expect this
Within reading just a few pages everyone was hooked. It was a HUGE book! BUT it was filled with pictures and chapters. We read it every evening before bed. Often we would read during the day because we couldn’t wait until the next night. Reading a big book like Hugo Cabret gave my kids and my family confidence that we could read not only chapter books but BIG books! Yes, it had lots of pages of beautifully sketched illustrations…but the IDEA of reading a book like that made the transition to bigger chapter books a reality.
How the book sparked even more curiosity
About three quarters of the way through the book we discovered Georges Melies. We immediately looked up his film illusions on youtube. The kids laughed and to this day, they love Georges Melies and create their own video illusions.
The entire family was pulling to reading chapter books after that. And now, we read every night, including school nights.
My key tips from our experience:
*Remember that each of your children is different. They all bring different energy to bedtime. (If you’ve not gotten to take this free energy profile test, take it here.) Paying closer attention to and understanding each child with this tool has literally changed the way I parent and the way we see each other in our family.
Emma is high energy. She wasn’t ready to sit still for long periods of time and we didn’t push her or make her sit still. We read what she was ready for. At the time that Emma was 4-7 years old I didn’t have energy profiling to know that Emma was just living her true energy. Eventually, I discovered Emma is skilled at doing a project and listening at the same time.
*We found ways to make the nightly ritual fun. They might jump off a bed the way someone in the story jumped or wave their hands when they hear a particular word in the story. Sometimes they would pretend to be one of the characters. We’ve also stopped reading and predicted what might happen or discussed issues that characters were facing.
*Letting our curiosity and imagination take over is also super fun. Exploring places or activities that the characters do in the book makes the book come alive even more. You could attend book signing events or book release parties. If you hear about the author being in town, try to visit. Research the author or characters online. While reading Hugo Cabret we researched the films of Georges Melies. The kids fell in love with black and white films. They couldn’t stop watching or laughing at The Black Imp.
*Choosing a book everyone will enjoy can be challenging. Typically, each of the kids gets to pick two books they’d like us to read. This means we have 8 books to vote on. For the first vote everyone gets to vote once. This narrows it to our top two choices. The winner of that vote is the book we read. I also keep a list of books on my phone. Sometimes, Mike or I will pick up a book at the bookstore and bring it home to read.
The biggest thing about this ritual, Brooke, is to keep trying until you find something that works for your familyness. If reading aloud together is important to you then there are a variety of ways to make it happen!
It’s never too late
One thing to remember…it’s never too late and you haven’t completely missed your chance. As you can see from our story…for Emmett, we started reading to him right when he was born. We didn’t figure out how to read to the girls until Miriam and Emma were almost 8 years old. At the time, I remember feeling, “Wow! How did we fail the girls like this?” There are always opportunities, though, to try something new with kids, whether they are 2 or 20 years old (or older). It’s never too late to start reading and connecting with the people you love most.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for your question, Brooke! I’m confident that there are others who have been wanting to know how to create a fun reading environment for their family. And, I have a feeling, your great question has been just the spark they needed.
What’s YOUR story, Dear Readers?
Tell me what you’ve done to encourage reading in your home or share your ideas for creating a similar family reading routine.
We’ve got lots of awesome familyness out there! Please share in the comments below, you never know if your idea or story is going to be the one that inspires someone else and gives them just the breakthrough they’ve been searching for!
We have more Q&A coming up! To submit your question click here.
Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer. She is expert at Nacho Libre parties and will never turn down a chocolate cupcake.
She blogs at davinafear.com and believes in the non-cheesy smile.
By day, I photograph families. By night, I build forts the size of elephants with my family. I live in a yellow house. I believe real life is the best getaway ever.
4 Comments
Oh my!!!!! I’m so thrilled that my question was picked! What a cool thing to see in my inbox and get the answers that I was searching for!
THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your experience!! I am going to check out the Hugo Cabret book you mentioned. And I also loved that you pointed out that Emma could listen if she was also doing a project. I think my son is the same way and I forget sometimes that he can still be listening. I’m totally different and can’t do ANYTHING ELSE but listen! So helpful to know how we all move through life in our own ways!
I really really want to make this a tradition in our home. I seriously think it is an amazing ritual that you have as a family! Thank you so much for your tips!
You are so welcome, Brooke! I have to admit, I have been surprised NUMEROUS times that Emma is listening when I’m convinced she can’t possibly know what we are reading/talking about because I’m the same what as YOU! I can’t read and listen to someone else. I have to give my undivided attention to people/things in order to really hear them.
Often, I think Emma listens BETTER if she’s coloring or doing something like that while she’s listening. It kind of blows my mind that that is true. 🙂
Good luck! Keep us posted. I’d love to hear what your son thinks of Hugo Cabret! 🙂
I was so delighted to see a post about this!!
Teaching reading was the first true love of my life (I am so in love with it that even while on maternity leave, with a newborn, i was poaching people’s children to do reading with them :-)) and it was something I anticipated doing with my son from birth…but never did. He was a tricky baby and we just…survived, until an angel called a baby whisperer came to our house and taught us how to have routine for our baby and sanity. Our twice daily routine became food, cuddle, book, prayer, sleep. I had to learn how to read with a tiny one (LOTS of lift the flap books, lots of noises, lots of singing) but once I did.. it took off. Book time is our comfort time now and my non-guilty pleasure. I am a ‘bad mama’ in lots of ways (I really, really hate playing trains, and have a short attention span in chasing and tickling games) but i treasure reading together and now have the joy of my beautiful son, three and a half, reading back to me. We tell verbal stories, repetitive ones like ‘going on a bear hunt’ and take lopsided turns choosing. Do you get ‘Play school’ in the US? Google it. It is the best young children’s TV show ever and they focus on stories in all forms, so we often steal theirs.We also love talking books and listen to stories as much as music :-). It is most often the space of day where I get to appreciate how very bright my child’s mind is, how much he understands about other people’s thoughts and feelings, and what he thinks about. I’m so glad we have this one daily thing that we enjoy equally. I treasure this one drop-everything time because I can use it to send the message “nothing is more important right now that being here and doing this with you”. Sorry for long response, Lisa
I think so many people can relate with having big plans for their children and the type of parents they are going to be BEFORE the babies get here. And then everything changes! And you end up navigating that world so differently than it had played out in your head.
What an amazing idea to have a baby whisperer come and help you through the transition and figure out what your baby and you, as parents, needed to survive and thrice as a little family.
And I know, for sure, that you are not the only mom that doesn’t love to get down on the floor and play trucks or dolls.
I also think you’ve hit on 2 key points with reading…establishing a routine for reading is essential and the undivided attention sends a wonderful message to our children. I LOVE reading, too, so it makes it even better when I get to share it with the people I love most.
I’ve not heard of Play School but I’ll be checking it out! Thanks for sharing it, Lisa!