Survey says!
Any time I hear the word _survey_ I automatically think of Richard Dawson, on Family Feud, dramatically calling out to the board above his head: SURVEY SAYS! I loved comparing the silly and serious answers of the contestants to what that crazy board would say as each answer flipped to the front!
Over the past few months, as people have joined the Familyness Fort, I’ve been asking each person to fill out this survey (if you missed it, you can fill it out here).
I created the survey questionnaire because I wanted to know where you’re at in your familyness, what’s important to you, and what you’re struggling with.
Guess what I found out?
I discovered that you and me and everyone else who filled out the survey are having days where we all fight the same battles. It made me realize that we all need to know what real life looks like for each of us…not what the perfect home or family or child or mom or dad looks like…but what WE really look like.
Here are some of the results of surveys so far:
85% of you want to feel less guilty** about what you’re not doing and be able to focus more on the awesome stuff you are doing
73% of you want to connect more deeply** with the people you love most
61% of you want more time with your spouse** in small ways
63% of you want realistic familyness ideas** that don’t seem unreal or fake
80% of you want to feel less guilt** and more happiness in your family and marriage
51% of you want to be your fun self** you used to be
What do these results mean?
So many of us are wanting to love what we’ve already got without feeling guilty. For some reason we are feeling disconnected from the people we love most but it’s one of the things we long for most. We also don’t want to see ideas that seem impossible to achieve or that are going to just end up on our already too long to-do-list. And to top it all off…we just want to be fun and have fun. These results mean that you are not alone!
You asked questions. Thank you!
Along with these survey questions many of you asked me lots of questions about how I connect with my kids and husband, you wondered how I make the time to do what I do, along with so many other questions.
I want you to know that your questions and the way you’ve shared what is so tender to you means so much to me. I know that opening up to me about your family and the daily struggles and joys you’re going through is an honor and gift to me. Thank you!
What I think no names mean
Some of you included your names and many of you didn’t. I think that the lack of names is a sign that it’s difficult to share the reality of our lives because of the possibility of judgement (it’s in the simple things like: being on your computer instead of being with your child that makes us feel terrible). There’s embarrassment associated with not having the perfect family or being the perfect parent we envision in our heads. I don’t want you to be embarrassed. We are all going through all of this stuff. We all see a perfect way we are supposed to be and fear putting out into the world our imperfect life. I’d like to create something here that encourages us all to feel safe to share what’s really happening, in a hope filled way, that gives us strength, individually and as a community.
After reading your questionnaires I feel like know you so much more and my heart is opened wide to you.
This is what I want to do…
Next week I’m going to begin answering your questions. The thing is…I know I don’t have all of the answers! That’s where you come in. I know some of us struggle with one thing while others of us have created a system or have natural abilities in that area (and vice versa).
Be a commenter
In the comments of each question asked I’d like for you to share your tips or your kind words or your similar experience to create a conversation that gives us all strength.
Because we need to know we are not alone in feeling that some days our family isn’t measuring up to our idea of perfection. And that there is more to a beautiful life than the perfect picture that’s out there floating in the ether.
Resist being a bystander
Sometimes, when a question is asked or answered we stand by; hoping someone else will be the first to step forward. I encourage you to the the first person to comment. Be the person that gets the conversation started or the one that keeps it going.
What can you do right now?
**Survey:** If you haven’t gotten to take part in the survey, please click here!
**Questions:** Send your questions to me by replying to this email. You can ask about familyness, marriage, something you’re struggling with as a parent, photographing your family, an issue you’re having with a child, ask questions about connecting, fun, schedules, fort building…anything goes!
What I want most?
I want this Q&A opportunity to be a place where you come and see that your familyness, just the way it is…is fantastic. I’m hoping you’ll discover that your familyness doesn’t have to look like mine or anyone else’s. I’m looking forward to us building a community together that supports each of us in our own familyness.
I’m super excited!
**xoxo,**
By day, I photograph families. By night, I build forts the size of elephants with my family. I live in a yellow house. I believe real life is the best getaway ever.
2 Comments
Looking forward to all of the sharing of ideas. My question is, how can a wife help a husband to be a bigger part of the familyness without making him feel like a loser?
That’s a great question Mike! Thank you!