married dating.
Our kayaking trip starts in 15 minutes. We haven’t even left the house and it’s a 10-12 minute drive.
Grace is upset that we are heading out for the evening and the kids have only been home from school for a few minutes. The kayaking tour is going to start without us unless we leave right away.
I have my youngest child hugging me as if she it holding on for dear life. If she lets go I will evaporate into thin air. I see this in her eyes as I look down at her. Emma is bugged they aren’t going, too. I begin wondering if this was a good idea. I debate with myself about calling the kayak tour guide and rescheduling. None of this is going as smoothly as I expected.
We are on schedule to be late.
Even though our kids know we go on a date every week; it’s the rare week when this little dance doesn’t happen with our kids. The pull to stay home and the tug to have some time alone with the person I committed my heart and soul to 18 years ago. They give us puppy dog eyes as we walk to the car.
Sitting in the front seat of our mini van with seat belt fastened, Grace gives me the signal, “What a minute!” She runs around to my side of the car. She needs just one last hug.
Dejectedly, she walks back to the door and sadly watches us as Mike puts the van in reverse.
I sigh as we pull out of the drive way. I commit to myself to figure out a way to make leaving a happier, easier scenario next week.
Mike puts his hand on my knee and gives a little squeeze. I see in his eyes the his reassuring look telling me the kids will be fine and we will have a fun evening.
He is right.
We are finally settled into our kayaks. Our guide pushes us off from the shore. The 4:00pm fall breeze gently ripples across my face, playfully running through my hair. I am smiling.
I look over at Mike. He is watching me. The farther we get out into the lake the more relaxed I feel. I am laughing more. The cares of the day float behind me in the air as I dig my oar into the still lake water. It seems like my worries fall behind me and off my shoulders like the long veil of a bride…whispy and barely there.
The longer we are on the lake the more invisible my cares and worries become.
We discover little rivers that no boat can reach. It’s as though we are going into uncharted territory. Mike and I glace at each other and with one look I know we both feel like brave new explorers into unknown lands. I can’t help shouting out to him, “This is so fun!”
We laugh. We paddle. We chat. As I watch him I see things in him that I adore. “His love of fun makes me happy, his company is my favorite.” I tell him. We say flirty things. We have fun.
By the time we row back to shore 2 hours later the world seems lighter even thought the sun is setting and the sky is getting darker.
As we walk back to our waiting mini van it feels like we are still floating.
How to have fun on a married date:
*Commit to a day. Decide what day of the week will be your date night. Set it aside as an expectation you have of one another. You can both count on the other to set the night aside no matter what comes up.
*Plan ahead. Not every one of our dates is planned ahead. Our dates where we’ve planned just a little bit have been the most fun. Otherwise we fall into our default, movie and dinner date, if we don’t come up with some idea before our date night. The choose a letter date and picture date take almost no planning but are super fun.
*Have fun! Your spouse likes to have fun with you. Try to keep night light and happy. Life can be heavy and stressful. This is your chance to enjoy each other, laugh, and be playful.
*Be flirtatious. Your spouse loves to know that you think they are worth some flirting effort. Men especially love saying flirty things, just go with it. Say flirty things back. It’s sensual, playful, and adds some fun to your date night. (Think back to your dates before getting married…)
*Make the person you’re with feel good. Say positive things. Let your spouse talk. Ask interesting questions. Compliment them. Tell them they are smart, beautiful, fun.
I know there are more ways to have fun on a date, please share in the comments:
- What do you to make your dates fun?
- What has been your funnest date?
Have fun with the one you love most.
PS…remember this week’s A Year of Familyness adventure!
By day, I photograph families. By night, I build forts the size of elephants with my family. I live in a yellow house. I believe real life is the best getaway ever.
4 Comments
Buying $1.00 rubber balls and making up games with them along an empty store front sidewalk has to rank right up there with the funnest ever. Going to Les Miserables in Baltimore the day we got engaged was pretty fun too. 🙂
Love it! Sounds like you had a blast. I think the most fun Jay and I have on dates is when we take a little time to plan, and do something that pushes us out of our comfort zone. One date we spent doing sort-of-random acts of kindness all over town, which was a blast. Jay also got me canoeing out on the lake for a date, which I was nervous about but ended up being tons of fun. We also love to shop together, so sometimes we just hit the thrift stores and enjoy each other’s company. Thanks for the inspiration!
This post is great! I sooo want to do this – I love your descriptions. You make it seem possible! Oh how I want to see my own cares floating away as I laugh and be myself with the one I love!
ohhh this post makes me smile 🙂 🙂