my older brother.
Who am I kidding? I never had an older brother. I dreamed of one. I tried to talk my parents into adopting one just for me. I thought it would be the perfect way to become the Brady Bunch (but that’s another story altogether).
It would have made everything so much cooler if I had had an older brother. One that would take me to every activity he went to and would tell his friends that I was cool. A brother who, if necessary, would beat up anyone up who was mean to me.
So…maybe that brother doesn’t exist. I might have been living in dreamland on that one. Maybe. 🙂
I remember my mom talking about her older brother. She adored him. He was embarrassed about having her walk to school with him. But don’t mess with his sister or you’ll have him to deal with. Brothers can be crazy that way. They want to be grown up (which means not having their family embarrass them) and at the same time they are also protective of the people they love.
Now that I have my own son, I see more and more, that the way his sisters feel about him is determined in large part by the way he treats them now. He knows exactly what buttons to push to hurt their feelings and he’s highly adept at saying the exact thing that will send them into the stratosphere.
He also knows that a well chosen word will make their entire day. And that when he spends a little time with them they really do think he’s the best brother. Best. Ever.
He’s learning these things.
And so kid dates became not just a chance for Mike and I to spend time with each of our kids but also an opportunity for our kids to spend time with each other.
So basically, our kids are taking each other on dates.
That sounds weird.
The kids think it sounds weird.
Maybe we need a new name…but they like the idea.
Before Emmett gets his license I want him to know what it feels like more often to be the fun big brother; to do something fun with his sisters.
So occasionally he takes an hour or so and makes their day by spending a little time with them.
On this day, he made playdough with Grace. They got online together and searched for a recipe. They found this one. It took less than seven minutes to make.
They put the ingredients in a pan. Stirred it up and then tossed the playdough around until it was cooled.
For the next 30 minutes or so they sat at the table talking, laughing, making silly jokes, and creating hearts, snowmen, whatever, out of playdough.
With teenagers (and boys in particular) it may be difficult to get them on board with something like this. It helps to give them a list of ideas. And if that fails, you could say, “‘l’ll take you to the gas station and give you five dollars that the two of you could spend together.” Start small and let him be in charge of watching out for his sister while in the gas station and making sure she gets to buy something she wants. This may take some baby steps.
Before Emmett leaves the house I want to create opportunities for him to be the fun big brother, to look for chances to create fun for his sisters, and for them to miss him when he goes off to college.
Happy Kid Dates!
xoxo,
Davina
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5 Comments
fun idea! I need to “plan” for theses things to happen or life just takes over and opportunities pass by.
Thanks.
It’s so crazy how things move so quickly! I hadn’t even realized that a tiny little plan like this could have such a big impact for good…
Wow! What a cool idea! Such a fun way to encourage enriching sibling relationships! This would have totally helped me growing up! I would have been the reluctant one, but even if I started out reluctantly, I’m sure there could have been a softening point that would have helped me grow those relationships . It took me until I was 20 years old to be friends with my sister. Kid dates could have helped that happen so much sooner 🙂
Brooke, thank you for this great example of how something very simple can affect our relationship. I have to thank my sister for the discussion we had about this whole concept when I was visiting her house. Our talks about our kids always give me inspiration!
This is so super sweet. Go Emmet! What a great brother thing to do!!!