(download your New Year Familyness Questions kit here)
Why resolutions and I don’t get along
It’s January 2nd and already I feel behind this year. Everywhere I look on the internet it seems like everyone has this new year all figured out.
Everyone but me.
Currently, the confetti stars are still all over the floor from our New Year’s Eve celebration and there is a breaking out over who is making the other person lose at the game of Risk.
How different is today?
So far, this new year still seems like the old year…a lot like waking up the day after your birthday feels so much like the day before your birthday.
I love the idea of so many ways to look and approach the New Year, I’ve put many of them into practice in years past and they just haven’t worked out for me.
This morning I stood in the shower, water running down my body for much longer than reduce. reuse. recycle deems appropriate, going over it all in my mind.
The new year looming in front of me like it’s something I can control and yet I know it’s not.
Was 2013 easy or hard for you?
The year of 2013 was one of our hardest and at the same time unsettlingly enlightening. There were lots of good things that happened and at the same time so many things that were complicated and complex and difficult and discouraging.
I know that at this point I should be looking back and seeing all that I’ve learned, all of the good things that happened, how all of that stuff has turned for my good. When I talk to Mike, he sees all of that stuff and I’m so grateful to him for that…
And I’m sure when I do that, I’ll see that last year, while it was hard…it was also incredible.
For now, though, it isn’t.
There’s the pressure here, on the internet and on my blog, to make it seem like I’m super excited about the newness of the year ahead. And I want to deliver that for you. I really do. I want to be the positive force you need to today.
Instead, I just want to not have to live up to the shoulds.
Why I’m not picking a word
The good thing to do would be to tell you my word for the year. I’ve tried to do that in past years. But I can never remember my word by the 2nd week, let alone by the end of the year. I know that works splendidly for many people. It just doesn’t for me. And I could make myself a necklace with my word on it but I hardly ever wear necklaces…at least not often enough to remind me that I need to do/live my word. And I could put that word up around my house as reminders but at some point it just becomes part of the landscape, blending into the rest of my life. Eventually, I don’t even see it anymore because it’s been there for so long.
Or setting goals
Then there’s the goals…which always end up making me feel like I’m punishing myself for all of the things I’m not…except in a passive aggressive way…being all polite and positive but knowing that there’s a negative meaning behind the thing I’m telling myself to do.
So this year. I don’t have a plan figured out. And it’s January 2nd.
What I am doing…
I’m going to start talking about these dinner questions with my family this month and see where they take me. Because I like talking around the dinner table.
I’ve also been working on Storyline and let me just say…I want to live a Story that knocks my socks off. And that’s fun! And meaningful.
So maybe when I’m done with that I’ll have something super good for you. I have decided that I like this question, though.
Until then, I’m ignoring the shoulds.
How are you feeling about the New Year? What is your approach to 2014?
(and don’t forget your own dinner questions kit here!)
Davina loves photographing the stories that make up mundane magic. Want to know about your own Day in the Life session? Just ask her here.
She’s creating something wonderful for you that you won’t want to miss. In the meantime, make sure you’ve snagged your copy of this.
4 Comments
I love your posts, cool quote by Paulo Coehlo too!
I feel like you do! I think it’s good to reflect but honestly as a Christian I’m evaluating my choices daily, so 1/1 is no big deal, just another day.
Much Love and Peace sister!
LB
Thank you, Lisa. There is a quiet sense of just needing to make the choices that bring us satisfaction and joy on a daily basis. Doing that makes such a big difference in the overall picture. Love to you, Lisa!
I think it is in almost every woman the feeling of I’m not quite good enough! We are nurturers by nature, so that makes us vulnerable. We want it all so we overextend our activities and plans and expectations till it all becomes overwhelming!
Take a breath with me (in…. out.) There, that’s done. Now take a moment to relax and really think. Instead of making a whole new list of things to do… accomplish…. (succeed or fail at) take a really good look back at 2013. Make a list of all the moments you hit your goal and you accomplished what you set out to do. It may be a revelation, that moment when you saw in your child qualities you admire and didn’t realize were there. It may be this amazing blog you have going that so many people enjoy reading 🙂 … whatever it is, own it and accept it and smile.
I read something last month and I don’t remember where I saw it so I can’t give credit where credit is due, but I loved it. Two men were walking in the desert. One man was really annoying the other man, not intentionally but still. At one point the first man did something that went overboard and the second man knelt in the sand and wrote down all the things the first man had been doing that just annoyed him to no end. When he was done he stood up and continued walking. Shortly after that the first man did something that was kind and considerate for the second man. Afterward the second man found a stone and wrote this act on the stone. He then continued on his way with the stone in his pocket. Confused the first man asked the second “I noticed you writing in the sand, and now on the stone… why did you not write in the sand again? There is more room.” To this the second man replied “Those things that I found annoying I needed to get off my chest so I wrote them in the sand for the wind to erase and carry them away. They are now no longer with me. They are gone in the wind. Those things I find uplifting and positive I write on stone. That can not be erased. They will forever stay with me.”
My goal for this year is to hold dear that which makes me a better person and to send with the wind that which I have no control over. I’m still alive so there is still time to keep trying to make it all right.
Life is not a destination… it is our journey. Enjoy it!
(sorry this was so long 🙂 )
Tammie, Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about how to approach the new year. I love your beautiful story of letting some things go that have been carried around and aren’t serving us and holding on to the things that have blessed our lives! It’s so true that letting go of stuff is so freeing and focusing on the good helps us to move forward. I’ve definitely felt that since the year started! I can tell you’ve put a lot of thought into the new year and how you are approaching it. Awesome things are ahead for you! For all of us! 🙂