feel like I’m walking through tar…
and the tar is up to my chin.
I’m wading and I’m wading. I think…am I in a dream? What the heck am I doing in tar? Where am I? How do I get out?
I need someone to pull me out but it’s just me. I’m the only one around.
The day is not even half way done and already I need a do-over. I’m wishing I could push the restart or reboot button on my life and my day. It’s one of those kind of days.
I just got back from a walk. While I was out there I was praying that my mind would get a reset and so would my feelings and maybe even my personality (that’s my psycho voice in my head talking, I know, but sometimes she gets her word in edge wise). And I kept praying. And walking the circle of roads right by my house. I was breathing and walking and hoping that in the breathing and walking the freshness would reach my brain and my heart.
And I said to myself, “Tell me three good things that have happened today. And if you can’t think of that then just three things you can be thankful for.”
In the state I was in it took me a minute to want to switch over to that way of thinking…to want to see something good.
Sometimes, I just want to stay bugged and negative. Isn’t that ridiculous?
On Sunday, Mike said, “It takes a lot of work to stay bugged.”
And so why do we pick that path? Why does it feel oddly…something…to just be negative?
I made myself stop with the list that wasn’t making things better and I made myself think of one good thing. I fought with myself to do it. One good thing.
And then another came to me. And then I easily had three good things. Now they are coming to me fast and furious…enlightening-glad-they-happened-today-things on my list.
Having to make myself see something that on other days is blindingly obvious and that just yesterday I felt great about tempts me to have yet another reason to say something mean to myself today.
Gentleness. (and prayer)
I need it. You need it. Especially with ourselves. A little grace. The kind we’d give someone else. It’s for us, too.
When we give ourselves that we open our life to a more grateful heart.
It’s 1pm and I’m starting my do-over day.
What action do you take when you need a do-over day when it’s already 1/2 over?
xoxo,
Davina
PS Love 15 launches next week!
Woohoo! If you want to know some details about Love 15 before the launch make sure to get on the Love 15 list. Just click the yellow square over in the sidebar or click here. ——>
6 Comments
I listen to a General Conference talk on my phone app. That usually resets my negative, nit-picky attitude. 🙂
That’s such a good one, Rita! I love GC talks. I read one every morning. Maybe I should occasionally read one in the middle of a day that needs a reset! 🙂
stumbled upon these wise words in just the nick of time. Your thoughts written beautifully!
Thank you, Cindy! And so glad you stumbled here…I hope to see you stumble here often. 🙂
Love this. Sounds like my week last week. 🙂 Glad I got a bit of a reboot too.
Hello, sweet Shannon! It’s so good to hear from you…and I’m so glad you got that little reboot! 🙂