or: why I love being a mom.
There are lots of hard, scary, tough, gross, unexpected and crazy things that come with motherhood.
It’s not all rainbows and roses.
If you look around at what’s being written in Internetland you’ll find plenty of people wanting to make sure that all of the not good is aired for everyone to see so that, “lies aren’t being put forth” or so that, “no one feels alone” in their plight as a mother.
And I get it. We need to support each other as mothers. It’s a hard job and people should know that.
I went to a support group for mothers of twins while I was pregnant with my own twins.
When I got there all I heard from every mom there was how terrible the first year was going to be, “so just get ready!”
They made sure they told me about every possible difficulty I might encounter and the doldrums I was sure to experience: no sleep, endless diaper changes, never leaving the house, always carrying a baby.
There was not one positive thing that they said to me about having twins.
I went away from that 90 minutes of my life positive that I was going to love every minute of having twins.
Now, obviously, I didn’t love every minute of having twins. Every minute of being a mom is not a love fest. There are difficult times. I’ve had them. The last couple of days included.
That day made me make a decision, though.
It reminded me that I chose this (well, maybe not necessarily to have twins but I definitely chose the mom part).
And in that choice I could chose to be bitter and belittle and begrudge being a mom or I could enjoy it…the happy times with the sad times, the a-ha moments with the “ahhhh! get me out of here!” moments.
And I have. And I do.
There are days when I sit in amazement at the wonder of being a mom and the wonder I see in my kids and the incredibleness (I may have made that word up) of being married to someone that, after 17 years, I’m still glad to wake up next to every morning.
And there are days that feel like they may never end.
Ones that I wish would speedily end, my head on my pillow not happening fast enough, because I can’t take another second of the whining and the fighting.
And then there are days that I wish would go on forever and ever because it feels like I’m living a dream that’s better than the dream.
Some days I don’t see it. I fail at seeing the beauty of my life because I look right past it. Some days are like that. And I keep telling myself, “that’s okay.”
And some days I see it…
What I may have missed if I weren’t a mom (and sometimes when I’m not looking…which is okay!):
Eating at the Fear Family Sit-In Diner…
where you sit in our family room on a floor covered (every inch) with pillows and you are brought breakfast on a tray that you ordered from a handwritten menu while you watch “The Polar Express”.
Thumb wars.
Random I love you notes…
left on my pillow or delivered very sacredly to my tomato covered hands while making dinner.
Foot races…
that happen anywhere and everywhere.
How amazing and exciting…
it is to get that plastic stuff wrapped around your Christmas tree.
Swirly straws.
They make any drink taste better. Honestly, I don’t know if I would use one if my kids didn’t beg me to. Hopefully, I wouldn’t be that grown up.
A little hand to hold.
One of my favorite things…holding hands with my kids.
The joy of doing dishes…
with a 7 year old who says, “Pleeeezzzeee. Can I pleeezzzeee wash the dishes?” And then while she’s doing the dishes saying things like, “Ohhhh! Don’t you just love this warm water. I looovvve putting my hands in this warm water.” “I don’t think this pan is clean yet. I better scrub it a little more.” (even though the pan was clean 20 minutes ago she doesn’t want the dishes and warm water to be over…not yet.)
Watching my girls walk…
so close together. Saying things to each other that are so important that no centimeter of distance can be spared.
Being a parent with Mike…
and seeing a depth in him over the years that I only glimpsed in our early years. The things we’ve been through as parents have made us challenge one another in ways we never saw coming.
Amazed at the ingenuity…
of my kids. I love watching the wheels turn in their heads and then standing to the side while they make their dream project become a reality.
Emmett and Cocoa (they are too much…hilarious together)
and
How funny static hair is on the slide
Working side by side…
with Emma while I teach her how to make the best ever toffee.
Seeing a life-sized teddy bear…
being transformed into Santa right before my very eyes.
Geocaching…
I heard about this from my kids who heard about it at school. Would I have heard about this without kids? Maybe. Maybe not.
A dog…
I wouldn’t have one. Now that I do, I love her. Most of the time.
Lemonade stands…
seriously, I don’t think people would stop if my 40 year old self was sitting behind the table.
Mother’s Day picnics…
And seeing zebras in someone’s front yard on the way home from said picnic.
Foursquare in the house…
and
Elephant sized forts.
Healthy foods, like corndogs…
and
Teddy bears that wave.
Sick kids that become very cuddly…
and
Going to the woods with Emmett and Cocoa.
Laughing…
I would miss a lot of laughing.
xoxo,
Davina
**all images in this post are from my iphone. to see more of my daily life photos follow me on instagram.
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Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer. She likes birthday parties…even her own.
She blogs at davinafear.com and sings soprano…but not in the shower…very often.
19 Comments
I absolutely loved this post! So encouraging for other moms of twins! I have twin boys and you have reminded me to take advantage of every moment I have with them. Thank you!
How wonderful that you have twins, Kristen! They can be a handful but there are so many sweet things about twins that you don’t get to experience when you have a single birth. When they were babies I always used to say to myself, “I will never get to hold two babies that are this small at the same time and that are mine again. This is a once in a lifetime thing that is happening to me here.” And I’ve said a similar thing many times since about the craziness of twins and being a mom, in general.
First time at your blog – love it. Love the post too, and I am addicted to Instagram! Glad I found you through MamaKat!
Welcome, Maria! I’m so glad that you found your way here. 🙂
What’s your name on instagram? I’d like to follow you. It’s a happy addiction, isn’t it?!
Wow. What wonderful photos. They show exactly how beautiful motherhood can be. You have a beautiful and happy family. I know life isn’t always all smiley faces like these, but these pictures sure help remind all of us that there is a good…no, awesome side to being a mom!
Thank you, Janice! I’m so glad that the beauty of motherhood comes through, for you, in these photos. Yay! You are so right. Being a mom is fantastic!
Oh my goodness what a beautiful post and the pictures that go along with it, are just fabulous.
Motherhood is hard but the blessing and love far out way the hardness.
Great post.
Jen, thank you! I agree. Some days it’s hard to see it that way. I’m grateful that the blessing days outnumber the hard days. Yay!!! It helped me so much when I realized that I could use my creativity inside my home first on the people I love the most. It’s so easy to get caught up in using my creative talents on people that aren’t my little family so having that epiphany made a huge difference for me.
Holy amazing pancakes post on your blog!
LOVE this post. So much! 🙂
Thank you, Diane! I appreciate you coming by and taking a minute to let me know that you enjoyed it. I think I recognize your url from Mama Kat. Is that right? 🙂
Yes, yes, yes! To all of it.
Your photos are exquisite, as are your reflections.
Angie, I just checked out your list. Love number 7. Hilarious!
What better way to avoid household chores than watching kids movies under the guise of ‘quality time’? I mean, really? 😉
Some days that’s all I’ve got. 🙂
This post makes my heart warm. I have loved every moment of my first ten months in motherhood, and this post reminds me that there is so much more to look forward to!!
Edna (I hope that’s your name), what a lovely note from you! The first 10 months are such a roller coaster of growing and transitioning and from my peek at your blog it looks like you’re doing an amazing job of it. I love your take on Mama Kat’s idea and combining what you love about mom-hood with a diy project that captures the last 10 months. It’s perfect!
I love, love, love this post! I think no matter how many kids you have, your positive attitude is important. You’ve inspired me to bring more fun into our lives more often!
How do you make the elephant-sized forts, and could we all come over for one of your fun breakfasts? 😉
Hello Wombat, 🙂
I’m so thrilled you loved this post!
Here’s a little tutorial about our elephant sized forts: http://www.davinafear.com/2011/10/05/how-to-build-an-elephant-sized-fort/
And how many reservations for the Fear Sit-in Diner?